Sleeper Car

Oct. 1

2:15 a.m.

Overnight train from Chennai to Katakumari

I am writing from our first class sleeper car. Its really rather comfortable (even air conditioned!), although there is a strong smell of urine coming from the seat I am sleeping on. Cedric is sleeping on the pull down bed above. I can’t imagine it smells much better.

Yesterday was an intense day. I had a bit of a difficult time (day 3 meltdown) It was all rather overwhelming and I got myself into a bit of an anxious state. It started the night before, and I opted to skip dinner with Cedric and his friend because I thought I needed to just stay in a ground a bit. (THAT was a difficult decision).

I woke early again, and decided I wanted to see the streets of the city in the early morning light. I wandered out around 6 and it was so quite and sleepy compared to the chaos we had been experiencing during the daytime and evening. There were families sleeping on the sidewalks, and mothers and babies were stirring. I walked a bit, and found myself a small piece of open sidewalk to sit and watch the comings and goings. There are women and children who are paid by the government to rise early and clean the streets, I saw them working away. Soon two young mothers approached me holding a small naked baby boy. His leg was in a makeshift splint and they explained he had rolled off the very tall curb in his sleep. They handed him to me. We sat and talked about their babies. One had 3 and the other had 2, both mothers were in their early 20’s. Soon, their children started gathering around too. They were laughing and telling me their names and staring at me with big huge smiles. They mothers were VERY proud of their children. They were happy to hear I have two children myself, and am going to become a grandma (nuun – my first Indian word). Then they asked if I would help them by giving them some money. I said yes, but first I wanted to hear more about them. So we visited, laughed and I held the baby. As I got up to leave they let me take their picture, they loved looking at the little screen on the camera. As I walked away I noticed that next to us was a cart with what looked like someone sleeping in it, then I saw that it was a dead body, covered by an old bedspread with gold fringe. It didn’t feel out of the ordinary at all, not even to me. I wandered on back to the hotel, and woke up Cedric.

A good portion of the day was spent getting ourselves to the Prepare offices. This is the organization that Cedric worked for during the Tsunami. They do a wide variety of relief work. We met with Dr. Raj, who was also the director when Cedric was here before. He was very welcoming and helpful. We talked about the needs of the southern villages and how we could best be of service. He cautioned us to not do anything for the people that they do not ask for, and that we not send the message that they are not responsible for themselves, and capable of getting their own needs met. It was wise council, and he struck me as a very intelligent, compassionate and caring man. We talked about the water situation, and while there is a tremendous amount of need in that area, his own personal suggestion was that our services may be better utilized by helping the youth. He said they need skills, education, and hope. He said he would make some phone calls for us, and put us in touch with a woman who can better direct us in the South. We will be calling him tomorrow for that information. In the meanwhile, we are getting ourselves to the South.

The bulk of the day was in a rickshaw!! The Prepare office was very far from our hotel, and I got the first idea of how huge this city is. The ride went on and on and on and on. We bounced through a huge range of neighborhoods. Shanty areas, city chaos, back alleys, dug up streets. There were areas in the little thatched hut cardboard houses where they had stacks and stacks of speakers, blazing music that could be heard for blocks. It was a huge mix of contrasts, and I could describe them forever.

We also visited the internet shop again. I sat next to a man who struck up conversation and was excited to hear I was from the US, his cousin lives somewhere in California. We chatted a bit and then he asked if Cedric was my husband. “No”, was he my boyfriend? “no, he’s my travel partner”, “oh good, because I want to know you.”………”no”. I turned back to my computer and thought “okay, you’ll answer that one differently in the future”.

At breakfast I struck up conversation with an older man who sort of runs the restaurant. He turned out to be the amazingly well educated, political activist from Sri Lanka (although he was clear to state that he claims no citizenship, only humanity). He said he chooses to live in India because life here is easy and making a living here “no problem”. He was fascinating and had lots to say about religion, Bush, globalization, community, family. He has 4 children, all of whom live in Denmark. He is very well traveled and had a mighty global picture of the world. At the conclusion of our conversation he asked for my email, and said, “you make good arguments, I would like to stay in touch. And you have a brother in me always.”

We have hired the same rickshaw for the last two days, so we became acquainted with the driver. A young man who described himself as coming from a family of “5 to feed, but only 1 to work”. (as peculiar as this might sound, he had the same facial structure as Rory, and I couldn’t stop thinking about him the whole time). He has two children, one is 2 years and the other is 20 days, “one boy, one lady”. He asked if I had a gift for his wife. When I said no he suggested I could give her my watch. I gave her my peace prayers necklace instead.

We visited some temples and St. Thomas Cathedral, and found a center that was a monastery of sorts for all religions. In the middle of all the crazy city chaos, there is a HUGE piece of land dedicated to religious unification. The first thing we saw as we entered the ground was a peace pole…….and home didn’t seem so far away. We wandered around the grounds, visited with all the cows, saw Banyon trees (huge trees whos roots grow as full treetrunks out of the branches and into the ground). The grounds went on and on and on and on. It was very, very beautiful.

My anxiety has subsided (for the moment), replaced by feeling subdued and helpless. This is an intense place, and I am more clear than ever that I know very, very little about our world and how it all works, but I do know how very small I feel in the midst of it.