Marriage in India

10-8-06

Our friend Jesu announced yesterday that his “marriage has been arranged”. The families had their meeting on Saturday, and the date has been set for November 27. He is quite happy about the arrangement. He says it is important to be married. It does seem like a good match as she is a teacher in Nagracoil and the families are compatible. He says this is a much better way, as the pressure of trying to marry for love is far more than he can take. “Love will come later” he tells me. He has begged me to return for the wedding. He thinks I am rich and can easily afford to come back.

The girls here definitely do not understand why I am not married, and why I am in no particular hurry to get married. I was unable to communicate that there is always the possibility I will never marry again. That was more than they could comprehend.

Yesterday Sundar got very serious and asked if he could talk to me about a difficult subject. And although this is not a subject he should discuss, his heart is heavy with it. He wanted me to promise that I would go home and get married. Having a boyfriend is “no good, not enough, you must be married”. Otherwise, he says, I will sit at home and do nothing, and be alone, and be wasted and “there will be no one to fetch you water in the night, or tie on your gown after your bath when you are old.” He was quite sincere in his plea, he is worried about my well being. He says it is bad that I sit here at night and eat alone and write in my book. When I told him that if I were married, if I did not eat alone, I would not have the opportunity to meet him or my other Indian friends. He said that would be a good thing, because I would have a husband.

He is responsible to get his sisters married, as his father has passed. It is quite a pressure for him. He must build 2 good dowreys to get 2 good arrangements. Wives are only as good as their fortunes. I tried to explain I have no fortune, so I would be a bad deal – but he could not understand that at all. I guess my car might make me a LITTLE valuable (?)