Birthday Blog - I am Grateful
I am writing as sit in an outdoor restaurant overlooking the Arabian Sea, surrounded mostly by foreigners and listening to a wide range of languages chattering all around me. I’m in Varkala, which is on the south/west coast of India and is a widely known tourist area full of hotels and massage places and street vendors. It feels a lot like Mexico at the moment, there is even Latin music playing. It is a rather confusing type of experience. Suddenly, after two months of needing to keep my shoulders covered, to keep my cleavage camouflaged and the need to “act less Western” I am suddenly surrounded by bikinis, shirtless men, and women in all sorts of skimpy beach wear with the scent of coconut suntan lotion, big floppy hats, and western looking sunglasses. It is rather confusing to my senses.
A lot has happened since last I wrote (and I skipped posting last weekend because of the complications of travel). I’m actually not sure I can begin to capture it all without this becoming a novel but here are a few bullet points:
*When I left the yoga retreat center I went into a private “homestay” with relatives of the retreat owners. My time with them will remain one of the top highlights of the trip. This family was not a usual host home, and they loved the novelty of having a foreign guest in their home. They even wanted me to sleep in the same room with them (they all sleep in one room on the floor, but I would have the bed). We spent the bulk of the weekend comparing our cultures, cooking, eating, watching Indian TV (“Indias Got Talent” and “Deal or No Deal”, very surreal), and wandering around the neighborhood a bit. Deena, the daughter, spent one evening painting my hands with henna (see pics) – they are just beginning to fade. It was glorious.
*I found a friend at the retreat center to travel south with me (Izzy from the UK), and it was great to have her with me for awhile. We took a “backwater” boat trip to the Ashram that was stunning. (Total 24 hour trip). However, once we reached Amma’s Ashram it quickly became clear that Izzy was not “feeling India”, and an invite to Cologne, Germany for New Years eve with a good friend lured her away from our dirty, rat infested, hot ashram lodgings and I soon found myself on my own in the Ashram.
The “space” of being alone provided me the opportunity to sink into ashram life a bit. I quickly signed up for Seva (selfless service) and started spending my mornings meditating on the beach and chopping vegetables. The Ashram has over 3000 people at any one time, and about 50% are foreigners. I loved getting to meet people from around the globe, and if I haven’t already mentioned this I continue to marvel at the numerous conversations about President Obama and the level of optimism he seems to be instilling on a global level. Even as an avid Obama supporter myself I was surprised. I marvel at how much the world listens to American Politics, and how little I experience Americans as listening to world politics. Without using google (or any other form of “cheating), I wonder how many of you could tell me the name of the Prime Minister of England, or the president of Brazil, much less what their current political issues are? I don’t know why I forget the level of world influence we, as Americans, wield. It is staggering.
My first few days at the ashram were also spent feeling like crap. I got a terrible head cold and bladder infection and ended up utilizing the free medical care that Amma provides to anyone who comes to her hospital. The Doctors were great and they immediately handed me medication and charged me approximately .75 cents. It took a couple days but I slowly started to feel better. I eventually started spending time in the pool at the ashram and soon met Katheryn and her 11 year old son, Orion. We’ve been pretty much inseparable ever since.
*Orion got to hand feed the elephants in the ashram that walk through 2 or 3 times a day
*Christmas eve included a full musical play telling the story of the life of Jesus – fascinating to watch and appreciate while in a Hindu temple.
*There is an eagle who lives in the ashram. After the tsunami he was hand raised by humans and so has little/no fear of people. He is, in the words of Amma, “a naughty eagle”, and we must protect our meals from him. Numerous times he swooped down onto our table and stole an entire breakfast (eggs seem to be his favorite) lunch or dinner, brushed his wings against our heads, and basically terrorized the diners. Amma says he has bad karma and needs to redeem himself. He is, however, gorgeous and looks like a smaller version of the Bald Eagle back home – he is quite remarkable.
*The rats continued to visit our room nightly without much drama, except the night we accidentally closed them INTO our room, instead of out. The screaming is actually quite funny, and it seemed that once we got them out our window we would soon hear screaming down the hall.
*Amma is a powerfully “magic” being and difficult to describe in a bullet point. However, I will try a bit. She is said to be the incarnation and transmission of Divine Love/God/Goddess/Universal Power. She loves all people, all religions, all living beings and all the world. She is not “a religion” in the Western sense (although she is, personally, Hindu), she instead “transmits” Divine Love to each of us who come to her by giving us a hug regardless of our beliefs. This is not just a normal hug, but a “let me pull you deeply into the bossom of the Mother” type of hug. On Christmas morning I was wandering the ashram alone when a Nun dressed in orange (high ranking) grabbed me and ushered me into the temple. I didn't know what for, but thought I’d just trust the moment. A bit later I was again moved to the front of the crowd, and again I just followed the lead, not know what was going on. Suddenly, the crowd gets all wiggly and you can feel the excitement and in walked Amma. We were in the small temple and there were only a very few selected people in the room. Someone whispered “shes going to give a meditation”. I was thrilled, it would be a great honor to be at her feet for meditation. Then another flurry of excitement runs through the room and we are juggled into a straight line and someone whispers, “shes giving unexpected Darshan” (which are the individual hugs, and were NOT scheduled for Christmas day, and usually require waiting in a line of thousands of people). Suddenly I am being asked what language I speak, to wipe my face, and to get on my knees to approach Amma. Within just a few minutes I find myself in her arms, deeply inhaling the scent of roses and hearing her whisper into my ear “my daughter, my daughter, my daughter”. By the time I am ushered away from Amma I am shaking and crying and I have no idea why. I find a seat on the floor as near to her as possible and sit and watch for the next two hours while she hugs hundreds of people who are “day visitors” to the ashram and will not be there for Darshan the following day. She did not want anyone to go without the touch of Divine Love, especially since it was, afterall, Christmas.
I had been considering leaving the ashram the following day, but this event told me to stop being in such a hurry to go nowhere, and to stay at the ashram a bit longer to see what I would find here. The next day I found Katheryn and Orion from the UK.
I watched Amma do the same for the next two days for 16 hours at a time in a MUCH larger auditorium where observers do not get anywhere near her, but instead watch her on stage and on big monitor screens. While she is giving Darshan she does not eat, does not take a break, does not stretch, drink water or move from her seat as long as there are people wanting to “be with Mother”.
Because Amma has an ashram in San Ramon there were many people from the Bay Area, and it was fun/surprising to meet a girl who was born in Ashland. I even met a woman named Tara from Texas, and we have multiple Ashland friends in common. Sometimes I don’t feel so far away.
*Orion turned 12 this week and we stayed at the Ashram so that he could celebrate with Amma. We had a small party in the Western Canteen in the Ashram. Wednesday morning we hit the road for Varkala, deciding we needed a little tourist pampering.
*And now, today is my birthday. We started the day with tea on the cliffs, a two hour yoga class, and now I’ve been sitting in an outdoor internet restaurant all day. I’ve no desire to go anywhere, do anything or make anything happen (with the exception of getting this blog posted). Katheryn and Orion are in the ocean and I’m drinking fresh juice and thinking of home. I woke this morning inexplicably crabby and a bit out of sorts, and am now feeing a bit reminiscent and acknowledging that the trip has been fraught with all sorts of emotions, experiences, learning, doubts, fears, adventures, feelings of both weakness and strength, longings and letting go’s, heat and cold, rain and humidity. I’m both anxious to return home and hug those grandbabies, and to remain present by fully experiencing everything I can (including being crabby). This has been a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and I’m torn about it coming to completion.
I’ve yet to know how the day will end, and the trip isn’t over yet. I’ve almost a week to go and I’ve still got a few plans up my sleeve.
Till next year…….
A lot has happened since last I wrote (and I skipped posting last weekend because of the complications of travel). I’m actually not sure I can begin to capture it all without this becoming a novel but here are a few bullet points:
*When I left the yoga retreat center I went into a private “homestay” with relatives of the retreat owners. My time with them will remain one of the top highlights of the trip. This family was not a usual host home, and they loved the novelty of having a foreign guest in their home. They even wanted me to sleep in the same room with them (they all sleep in one room on the floor, but I would have the bed). We spent the bulk of the weekend comparing our cultures, cooking, eating, watching Indian TV (“Indias Got Talent” and “Deal or No Deal”, very surreal), and wandering around the neighborhood a bit. Deena, the daughter, spent one evening painting my hands with henna (see pics) – they are just beginning to fade. It was glorious.
*I found a friend at the retreat center to travel south with me (Izzy from the UK), and it was great to have her with me for awhile. We took a “backwater” boat trip to the Ashram that was stunning. (Total 24 hour trip). However, once we reached Amma’s Ashram it quickly became clear that Izzy was not “feeling India”, and an invite to Cologne, Germany for New Years eve with a good friend lured her away from our dirty, rat infested, hot ashram lodgings and I soon found myself on my own in the Ashram.
The “space” of being alone provided me the opportunity to sink into ashram life a bit. I quickly signed up for Seva (selfless service) and started spending my mornings meditating on the beach and chopping vegetables. The Ashram has over 3000 people at any one time, and about 50% are foreigners. I loved getting to meet people from around the globe, and if I haven’t already mentioned this I continue to marvel at the numerous conversations about President Obama and the level of optimism he seems to be instilling on a global level. Even as an avid Obama supporter myself I was surprised. I marvel at how much the world listens to American Politics, and how little I experience Americans as listening to world politics. Without using google (or any other form of “cheating), I wonder how many of you could tell me the name of the Prime Minister of England, or the president of Brazil, much less what their current political issues are? I don’t know why I forget the level of world influence we, as Americans, wield. It is staggering.
My first few days at the ashram were also spent feeling like crap. I got a terrible head cold and bladder infection and ended up utilizing the free medical care that Amma provides to anyone who comes to her hospital. The Doctors were great and they immediately handed me medication and charged me approximately .75 cents. It took a couple days but I slowly started to feel better. I eventually started spending time in the pool at the ashram and soon met Katheryn and her 11 year old son, Orion. We’ve been pretty much inseparable ever since.
*Orion got to hand feed the elephants in the ashram that walk through 2 or 3 times a day
*Christmas eve included a full musical play telling the story of the life of Jesus – fascinating to watch and appreciate while in a Hindu temple.
*There is an eagle who lives in the ashram. After the tsunami he was hand raised by humans and so has little/no fear of people. He is, in the words of Amma, “a naughty eagle”, and we must protect our meals from him. Numerous times he swooped down onto our table and stole an entire breakfast (eggs seem to be his favorite) lunch or dinner, brushed his wings against our heads, and basically terrorized the diners. Amma says he has bad karma and needs to redeem himself. He is, however, gorgeous and looks like a smaller version of the Bald Eagle back home – he is quite remarkable.
*The rats continued to visit our room nightly without much drama, except the night we accidentally closed them INTO our room, instead of out. The screaming is actually quite funny, and it seemed that once we got them out our window we would soon hear screaming down the hall.
*Amma is a powerfully “magic” being and difficult to describe in a bullet point. However, I will try a bit. She is said to be the incarnation and transmission of Divine Love/God/Goddess/Universal Power. She loves all people, all religions, all living beings and all the world. She is not “a religion” in the Western sense (although she is, personally, Hindu), she instead “transmits” Divine Love to each of us who come to her by giving us a hug regardless of our beliefs. This is not just a normal hug, but a “let me pull you deeply into the bossom of the Mother” type of hug. On Christmas morning I was wandering the ashram alone when a Nun dressed in orange (high ranking) grabbed me and ushered me into the temple. I didn't know what for, but thought I’d just trust the moment. A bit later I was again moved to the front of the crowd, and again I just followed the lead, not know what was going on. Suddenly, the crowd gets all wiggly and you can feel the excitement and in walked Amma. We were in the small temple and there were only a very few selected people in the room. Someone whispered “shes going to give a meditation”. I was thrilled, it would be a great honor to be at her feet for meditation. Then another flurry of excitement runs through the room and we are juggled into a straight line and someone whispers, “shes giving unexpected Darshan” (which are the individual hugs, and were NOT scheduled for Christmas day, and usually require waiting in a line of thousands of people). Suddenly I am being asked what language I speak, to wipe my face, and to get on my knees to approach Amma. Within just a few minutes I find myself in her arms, deeply inhaling the scent of roses and hearing her whisper into my ear “my daughter, my daughter, my daughter”. By the time I am ushered away from Amma I am shaking and crying and I have no idea why. I find a seat on the floor as near to her as possible and sit and watch for the next two hours while she hugs hundreds of people who are “day visitors” to the ashram and will not be there for Darshan the following day. She did not want anyone to go without the touch of Divine Love, especially since it was, afterall, Christmas.
I had been considering leaving the ashram the following day, but this event told me to stop being in such a hurry to go nowhere, and to stay at the ashram a bit longer to see what I would find here. The next day I found Katheryn and Orion from the UK.
I watched Amma do the same for the next two days for 16 hours at a time in a MUCH larger auditorium where observers do not get anywhere near her, but instead watch her on stage and on big monitor screens. While she is giving Darshan she does not eat, does not take a break, does not stretch, drink water or move from her seat as long as there are people wanting to “be with Mother”.
Because Amma has an ashram in San Ramon there were many people from the Bay Area, and it was fun/surprising to meet a girl who was born in Ashland. I even met a woman named Tara from Texas, and we have multiple Ashland friends in common. Sometimes I don’t feel so far away.
*Orion turned 12 this week and we stayed at the Ashram so that he could celebrate with Amma. We had a small party in the Western Canteen in the Ashram. Wednesday morning we hit the road for Varkala, deciding we needed a little tourist pampering.
*And now, today is my birthday. We started the day with tea on the cliffs, a two hour yoga class, and now I’ve been sitting in an outdoor internet restaurant all day. I’ve no desire to go anywhere, do anything or make anything happen (with the exception of getting this blog posted). Katheryn and Orion are in the ocean and I’m drinking fresh juice and thinking of home. I woke this morning inexplicably crabby and a bit out of sorts, and am now feeing a bit reminiscent and acknowledging that the trip has been fraught with all sorts of emotions, experiences, learning, doubts, fears, adventures, feelings of both weakness and strength, longings and letting go’s, heat and cold, rain and humidity. I’m both anxious to return home and hug those grandbabies, and to remain present by fully experiencing everything I can (including being crabby). This has been a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and I’m torn about it coming to completion.
I’ve yet to know how the day will end, and the trip isn’t over yet. I’ve almost a week to go and I’ve still got a few plans up my sleeve.
Till next year…….
posted by Kim at Thursday, December 31, 2009
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home